Don't FIGHT and Don't RUN From this ITEM, PKMN

I am not a geek so I don't play World of Warcraft.  However, I am a nerd so I still refer to myself as a Pokemon Trainer now and again even though I haven't played the game since senior year of high school (blurring the line between nerd and loser).  Now, as many of my fellow trainers and I believe, our canonical manifestation of the Pokemon series ends after Blue, Red and Yellow.  Since the release of Yellow in 1999, Nintendo has come out with:
Gold and Silver  
Crystal*              
Ruby and Sapphire
Emerald                
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team
Pokemon Ranger                                              
Diamond and Pearl                                          
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness
Pokemon Rangers: Shadows of Alimia
Platinum
Black and White

This is only a chunk of all the various installments of the series in which Nintendo has introduced nearly 500 new species.

To the extent of my knowledge, the creators of Pokemon have yet to enter the realm that which I am about to propose.  There should be a MMORPG ( Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game for all you noobs) that allows each player to leave the restraints of the muggle Pokemon Trainer and roam the lands of Kanto as a Pokemon.  In this game, you could band together with a group of no more than five other friends to form an elite Pokemon fighting team.  As the Pokemon, you would be able to create your own moves (restricted to your type, of course. Blastoise can't fly, Rhydon can't surf and Goldeen still can't do anything).
There are more exciting features that I am sure will reveal themselves soon, but I just wanted to incept the subconsciouses of current Pokemon game creators.  Hopefully this takes off soon.


*I may have grown fond of Crystal had I not dropped it and my gameboy into the toilet

A Sad Tale of C-Town

In the midst of a fascinating 2010 MLB postseason, full of amazing pitching duels and claws and antlers, I can't fight my inevitable trip into a 2007 relapse.

People from Cleveland, if they haven't forced themselves to forget, will remember this year as the Indians were up three games to one against the Red Sox in the ALCS. The last three games of that series turned out to be a mess, as no one on the mound stepped up to the challenge of propelling us to a World Series. C.C. Sabathia, Fausto Carmona and Jake Westbrook all were given the opportunity to close the door on the Red Sox, but all came up short.

Now, I was fully able to move on from this ordeal and I promised myself I'd be quite alright. When I left the postseason I'd be completely restored to my normal, terrible old self. But maybe I'd be a little bit wiser for the wear (Willy Wonka quote). However, these past two post-seasons have featured several former Indians players from Jim Thome to Kelly Shoppach. But one former member of the Tribe has turned the playoffs into something unseen before. A Mr. Clifford Lee, now advancing to his second consecutive World Series appearance, is a perfect 7-0 in his first seven playoff performances. In each start he pitches as if he is throwing against high school players, befuddling and baffling with insane control.

Cliff Lee really propelled himself into the spotlight with his unbelievable 2008 season. Everyone remembers his dominant 22-3 W-L record and his miniscule 2.54 ERA, but I ask you, painfully, to remember further beyond that season of genius.

In Cliff's first three full seasons, he won 14 games with an 18 win season sandwiched in there. He had shown signs of promise, but nothing of what we are seeing now. Then came 2007. When Everything seemed to be going right for the Tribe, Lee was the only thing wrong. Days before the trade deadline in July, Lee and his 6+ ERA were banished to the minors. Apparently, Lee never showed up to Buffalo, but instead joined the League of Shadows where Ra's al Ghul showed him the key to mastering the strikezone.

Cliff was a phoenix gloriously rising from the ashes of mediocrity and despair and he is now soaring at the highest levels of baseball lore.

A great story of redemption for Clifford, but what gets lost is that his period of rebirth took place during the same time in which the Indians were making their push to the playoffs. Cliff rejoined the team in September, but never returned to the rotation. He stayed in the bullpen for the rest of the regular season. The real horror of this tale is now revealing itself. When the Indians were sitting pretty up 3-1 in the 2007 ALCS, we needed one solid pitching performance to enter the World Series and face a Colorado team that was far inferior to the men of Erie. A sure World Series victory and a championship team for the troubled city of Cleveland. But while C.C. , Fausto, and Jake all failed to come through, a Mr. Clifford Lee sat on the bench and twiddled his thumbs. And the question is now, when did Cliff officially turn into the superhero he is today? Was it in his preparation and offseason before the 2008 season, or, perhaps, was the trip to the minors the wake-up call? Was Batman sitting on the bench while the Joker stole our trip to the World Series?

Now at 7-0 with a 1.26 ERA and a gaudy 9.57 K/BB ratio, Lee has yet to make a playoff mistake. All the Indians needed was one of those seven stellar performances, and the world would be a different place today.

I will leave the topic of how the Indians drafted Tim Lincecum for another post.

New Kid Cudi yall

Check out the new leak off Man on the Moon 2: The Legend of Mr Rager, Maniac ft. Cage. Listen on illRoots

Fantastic beat, a sample of St. Vincent's The Strangers. As much as Cudi is an unconventional rapper, this still seems like an odd choice of a sample. The execution is fantastic though, as Cudi seems content to let the track do most of the work, laying down verses seemingly to fit and compliment the beat more than to flex any kind of rapping muscle. The end result is one of the better uses of an indie sample and it adds to the mounting excitement of this fall's coming rap releases.

Effing Gem

Came across this clip watching Chappelle's Show the other day... gold.
It's most definitely, not think so

Lion's Choice: Deerhunter

Posted by Lion



If you happen to be a reader of Pitchfork, or any indie music site for that matter, you've already heard of Deerhunter.  And you may also know that Deerhunter recently released an album titled Halcyon Digest, which just happens to be UNBELIEVABLE.

This band is very difficult to figure out.  Their first album, Cryptograms, can only be described as modern shoegaze.  Very difficult to listen to, but, if you're into that shoegaze stuff, it was a gem.

With their sophomore album, Microcastle, Deerhunter cleaned up the production a bit (a small bit, mind you.)  They were easier to listen to, and Bradford Cox really grew as a lyricist.  He seemed fragile (which only fits his physical appearance.  The dude has Marfan Syndrome, which makes him the most gaunt-looking human being I've ever seen.)  Not to mention, Nothing Ever Happened was a straight up jam:



I thought my Deerhunter love would peak after Microcastle.  They were one of those bands I always enjoyed, but not to the extent where I could listen to their albums all the way through in one sitting.  And then, all of a sudden, Halcyon Digest happened:



As Wolf can certainly attest to, Deerhunter stepped up their shit.  This album is their most accessible and diverse album yet.  A few examples:

Revival, my personal favorite of the album, is probably the most like their previous material.  It would've fit right in on Microcastle.  If you aren't sure this is your type of song, at least listen for the change of pace at 1:20, which is one of my favorite moments of the record.  Then again, I am a sucker for tiny little moments that shouldn't make a song, but for me, they do:



Next, we have Helicopter, the first single off Halcyon Digest.  It's an interesting change of pace for Deerhunter, one I could only describe as "haunting"..



Finally, Coronado. If you told me that Deerhunter could ever sound like Buddy Holly, I would've laughed in your face.  But damn, Deerhunter sounds like a 50's Back to the Future band in this song.  And it's...like...really good?  Why is this good?  I don't know.  But...it's...good...

3CI.0.1

Wolf here,
I'd like to take this opportunity to provide an updated photo that better reflects our commitment to this new tomorrow.

Onward and upward gentlemen. The only directions we will hence concern ourselves with.

I'm going to try to bring to 3.0 my own unique (and highly white) views on the world of rap. Starting with this track from Wiz Khalifa's 2010 album Kush and Orange Juice. Gotta love the use of Frou Frou's Let Go as the backing track, conjuring immediate associations with one of my favorite movies of all time, Garden State. Although it's clear from the first rapped word that the song will have absolutely nothing to do with anything you felt while watching Garden State.

3CI 3.0

Hello all.  Crazy thing happened.  We at 3CI recently went on vacation to this beautiful secluded island in the Pacific.  While on vacation, we explored the pristine lands and found some interesting things.  One of these things was a big wheel sticking out of a wall in a cave.  It took all three of us to turn it because it was actually frozen in there, and upon doing so we got transported back to the 70's.  It took a whole series of complex events to return us back here.  If there is a here...now....

Anyway, we would have been blogging but, alas, we were in the 70's.  However, we are back in our original timeline (or at least some alternate dimension protruding from some events that took place in what you may refer to as the original timeline) and we are ready for another reboot of the famed and financially successful franchise -Three Conchords Inc.

What awaits in the upcoming posts will entertain, enlighten, and encourage your participation.  We want to hear from you.  And to show you how determined we are with this new reboot of the franchise, here is a picture of our very own Wolf's dangerously delicious moustache...

The keen eye will notice the vorticity of the apex of said stache.  This image is a message that we are ready to come back better than ever. 

Peace be the journey...

Just for Fun

Robobromanticism

Gorilla:  Yes, the Three Conchords can do it all.  I have just coined a heptasyllabic word and any use of its derivatives.  I do amaze myself especially since WikiAnswers was only able to yield five words with such syllabic quantities.  The word, ROBOBROMANTICISM, is the spawn of a train of thinking I had over this past weekend.* 
Although the weekend was full of inebriations and promiscuity, I somehow found the time to watch the first ever installment of the Star Wars Saga.  "A New Hope" may, in fact, be the most important and influential film ever created (ahem...Lion, take note).  However, this article will not fully delve into the overall greatness of the movie, but instead focus on one of the closest and most pure relationships in cinematis history.  The relationship does neither involves Luke nor Han (although Han and Chewy are an amzing couple).  The duo is made up of none other than the astromech droid R2-D2 and the protocol droid C-3PO.
They are together from the very beginning of the film, weaving through enemy lasers and escaping stormtroopers.  Only a small lover's quarrel separates them upon landing in the empty outer regions of Tatooine.  Absence does seem to make the motherboard process fonder as they are joyfully reunited in the Jawa slave ship.  A true friend, C-3PO convinces Luke to purchase R2 instead of the faulty red astromech.  This robobromance grows throughout the film as the two friends stick by each other until R2 courageously voyages with Luke to blow up the Death Star.  During the dangerous trek, R2 receives a few minor injuries which causes 3PO to say the most robobromantic lines in film, "You must repair him.  Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help him, I'll gladly donate."  This line sums up the amazing relationship that these two droids share.
One can never underestimate the imprtance of friends, especially when you spend your whole life trying to destroy the evil Galactic Empire.

Here's to two great friends and the greates robobromance ever.

*It took me this far into the writing process to realize what a nerd I am.

1864 Fun

Gorilla: I was surfing the web and I felt that this video is one that truly deserves to be on our blog. Enjoy...

http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1126523055/Conan_Goes_To_A_1864_Baseball_Game

The Hunt for the Best Movie of All Time: Fight Club

Posted by Lion

In this ongoing segment, Lion will make a case for a certain film being "the best movie of all time." This is a direct rip-off of Videogum's "The Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time," which features both better/funnier writing and more readers. Each movie will be given a fair shot at glory. There WILL be spoilers. If you have any recommendations, please post in the comments. Most movies will be what are generally considered "critically-acclaimed."

People over-generalize Fight Club as being too "macho," basically a film for men to satisfy their primitive dream of beating every other man's ass. But it is truly jam-packed with social commentary that will boggle your mind if you take the time to sit down and think about it.


We are a society driven by consumerism. Every day, our minds are packed with advertising ploys and our eyes are glued to televisions and computers. Very rarely do we stop and think about what it means to be truly alive. Fight Club uses this idea as a central theme.


Due to pure laziness on my part, I will copy and paste the pivotal plot points from Wikipedia (if you have seen Fight Club, then skip right over this part):


"After a flight home from a business trip, the narrator finds his apartment destroyed by an explosion. He calls Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt)a soap salesman whom he befriended on the flight, and they meet at a bar. A conversation about consumerism leads to Tyler inviting the narrator to stay at his place; afterward, he requests the narrator to hit him. The two engage in a fistfight outside the bar, with the narrator subsequently moving into Tyler's dilapidated house. They have further fights outside the bar, and these attract a crowd of men. The fighting moves to the bar's basement, where the men form a fight club."

"Marla overdoses on pills and telephones the narrator for help; he ignores her, but Tyler answers the call and saves her. Tyler and Marla become sexually involved, and Tyler warns the narrator never to talk to Marla about him. More fight clubs form across the country, and they become the anti-materialist and anti-corporate organization called "Project Mayhem", under Tyler's leadership. The narrator complains to Tyler that he wants to be more involved in the organization, but Tyler suddenly disappears. When a member of Project Mayhem dies, the narrator tries to shut down the project, and follows evidence of Tyler's national travels to track him down. In one city, a project member greets the narrator as Tyler Durden. The narrator calls Marla from his hotel room and discovers that Marla also believes him to be Tyler. He suddenly sees Tyler Durden in his room, and Tyler explains that they are dissociated personalities in the same body. Tyler controls the narrator's body when the narrator is asleep."

"The narrator blacks out after the conversation. When he wakes, he discovers from his telephone log that Tyler made calls during his blackout. He uncovers Tyler's plans to erase debt by destroying buildings that contain credit card companies' records. The narrator tries to contact the police but finds that the officers are members of the project. He attempts to disarm explosives in a building, but Tyler subdues him and moves to a safe building to watch the destruction. The narrator, held by Tyler at gunpoint, realizes that in sharing the same body with Tyler, he himself is actually holding the gun. He fires it into his mouth, shooting through the cheek without killing himself. Tyler collapses with an exit wound to the back of his head, and the narrator stops mentally projecting him. Afterward, Project Mayhem members bring a kidnapped Marla to him, believing him to be Tyler, and leave them alone. The explosives detonate, collapsing the buildings, and the narrator and Marla watch the scene, holding hands."

One thing that strikes me about this film is its ability to appeal to such a variety of people:

• Your typical "bro"
• Fight Club appeals to "bros" for the obvious reason of violence. If there is anything "bros" like most, its seeing Brad Pitt getting beat to a pulp by a mobster and laughing his ass off in the process. It's straight up bad-ass, and "bros" love their asses bad. (?) I am grateful that the film directors decided to abstain from putting Brad Pitt in Affliction gear (this may have caused soiled underpants to plague the douche bag population of Mayfield High School.)
• Your typical "film lover"
• Notice I said FILM, and not movie. People in this category are cinema elitists. I would put myself, and most of my friends, in this category. We love to pretend we know everything about the film industry. In fact, we just read IMDB too much and brag about knowing that Christian Bale was just over 100 lbs. in The Machinist. I classify film lovers as seeing the movie industry for what it truly is: a superbly effective communication medium for themes and art. Fight Club fits in this category as well. Its jam packed with themes (coming of age, anti-consumerism, mundane everyday life), a plot twist to end all plot twists, and of course: Edward Norton! Everybody loves Edward Norton!

• Women
• Women may get slightly aroused watching Fight Club. There should be two descriptions on the back of a Fight Club DVD case: one for men, one for women. The women's would read: "Brad Pitt kicks ass with his shirt off. Penises are also subliminally flashed on the screen: twice!" The men's would read: "Hey fatty! Watch Fight Club and experience two forms of inner dialogue, both of which point to feelings of despair and worthlessness: 'Man, I am a consumerist pig.' and 'Damn, I need to do some sit ups or something.' "

So where does Fight Club stand in the "best movie of all time" race? It has to rank fairly high. If I asked someone to name the best movie of all time, and someone said "Fight Club", I wouldn't react the same way as I would if they had said "Ernest Goes to Camp." It's an understandable and supportable choice. It's primitive in its appearance but deep in its themes. It appeals to our need for violence (us Americans LOVE our violence) and our need to look in the mirror and examine our lives. Maybe I won't watch as much TV. Maybe I should enjoy life in its simplest forms. Maybe I should do some sit ups. (Nah.)

Not to mention: Fight Club has one of the single greatest quotes in the history of filmmaking/writing:

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." -Tyler Durden

Next time on The Hunt for the Best Movie of All Time: Pulp Fiction.

As always, feel free to argue or recommend other films in the comments below.

Best Movie of 2010

Gorilla: It's only the end of January and I can already tell you what the best movie of 2010 is. You may be thinking that I have seen an incredible movie that I doubt will not be topped for the next eleven months. However, this best movie of the year has not even been released to theatres yet and may very well still be in final steps of post production. The movie that will be sure to gather much praise and respect is the Christopher Nolan project "Inception".

I know that the movie is set to open in July and I am hyping a movie way too early, but what else is a blog for? The first sign that this will be a tremendous achievement is the man who is at the head of the production, Christopher Nolan. Fresh off one of the greatest directorial decades ever (Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight), Nolan is at it again with an original screenplay to once again bend the mind and make you leave in a state of awe. Nolan has an impeccable way of creating amazing film noir and looks set to twist another enthralling tale this summer. The tagline is another sign that this picture will be something great. "Your mind is the scene of the crime." The tagline itself gives the movie instant credibility. The receipe for success is complete with what appears to be a strong cast, including some members from Nolan's 'Batman' series.

Once again, I understand that it is way too early to start getting excited about this film. I hope the studio does not begin showing TV spots for it too early as well, but I have a feeling you may see something about the movie during the commercials of the Super Bowl in ten days. Because I couldn't embed the trailer here for some reason, I will leave you with a poster and a link.

The Very Best

Gorilla:  Forgive me as I try my hand at praising a little known music group.  This area is usually trespassed by Lion and Wolf, but even though I am not a tall glass of water with white jeans doesn't mean I don't enjoy listening to new things. 
Now I am not even sure if this group is popular here in the states or not (probably not considering most of the music is in what I believe is Chichewa) but I am going to give praise anyway.  The Very Best is a collaborative effort of Esau Mwamwaya and Radioclit which released a mixtape in 2008 and the fruitful album, Warm Heart of Africa, in 2009.  I am just becoming familiar with the music group, but already I am enjoying the blurr of new sounds and beats with lyrics I can't understand.  Even though I don't know what is being sung in most of their songs, The Very Best are able to create energetic, engaging, and fun music that can be enjoyed by all.  Their attributes are colorfully on demonstration in the songs "Kamphopo" and "Warm Heart of Africa". 
I highly encourage you all to give The Very Best a try.  Its always good to take a step outside your circle and see what the world has to offer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MDYTkdVT8M



Also, I must give credit to Mr. Daniel J. Corrigan for first introducing me to The Very Best.

You Should Get to Know: Dexter

Lion

You Should Get to Know is an ongoing segment which suggests something you should really freaking get to know.

Disclosure: If you watch Dexter, please be aware you WILL be rooting for a serial killer. You will be smiling as he cuts up screaming people into tiny pieces. Don't consider me liable for sinister thoughts that may arise from this television program.

Within the past two months, I have become obsessively hooked to the Showtime series Dexter. As late as I may be, I have made up for my tardiness by feverishly watching two seasons worth of episodes in a matter of 2 weeks (about 24 episodes, 1 hour each). (Wow. One day's worth. I didn't realize how pathetic that is until it was typed.)

As I prepare to start season 3, I strongly recommend renting the DVDs or watching it online. Michael C. Hall plays his character perfectly. Dexter is a blood splatter analyst for Miami homicide. Haunted by a traumatic past and his urges to kill, Dexter secretly kills "bad guys" only. This can lead to Dexter having to deal with his own crime scenes on the job (which leads to some awesome manipulations on his part) and Dexter having to lie to those "loved" ones around him. Even though Dexter is self-proclaimed to have no feeling, he puts on an amazing facade to those around him.

Although Michael C. Hall was recently diagnosed with cancer, the disease is in remission and he is looking to make a full recovery. Thank God, because how am I supposed to spend my pathetic life if I can't watch Dexter?

P.S. Conan may have some sinister thoughts of his own after Jay Leno took his life away:

Become a Fan!

Lion

With our creative juices flowing, it's an exciting time in the Three Conchords world. Please join our facebook fan page to stay updated on everything involved with the blog.

Click here.

Funny People Playing Funny Games

Lion

Funny People:

Simon Pegg
Kristen Wiig
Bill Hader
Dude from Superbad

Funny Games:
Sounds you make at the end of a sentence

The Trumpet Game (my favorite)

Observe:

The Hunt for the Best Movie of All Time: The Shawshank Redemption

Lion

In this ongoing segment, Lion will make a case for a certain film being "the best movie of all time." This is a direct rip-off of Videogum's "The Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time," which features both better/funnier writing and more readers. Each movie will be given a fair shot at glory. There WILL be spoilers. If you have any recommendations, please post in the comments. Most movies will be what are generally considered "critically-acclaimed."


I know I know. Shawshank is number one on the IMDB top 250, which is basically textual pornography for film-lovers. But it's a good kickoff film to feature in this segment. It's a recognizable movie that has managed to cross over its success into my generation. (the Call of Duty-playing generation where everything's amazing and nobody's happy )

The Shawshank Redemption follows the story of Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins), a man who is arrested for murdering his wife and her lover based on circumstantial evidence. Andy is sent to Shawshank prison, which is basically a haven for sodomizers who like to shank people (ironically). Andy befriends a wise black man (probably the best of all stereotypical movie characters) named "Red" (Morgan Freeman). Andy learns of Red's ability to smuggle items into Shawshank, and requests a rock hammer. (That should have no significance later, right??) Eventually, the guards at Shawshank realize Andy's one smart cookie. Andy ends up giving financial advice to most of the guards and workers at Shawshank, and is given responsibility of keeping Shawshank's financial accounts in balance. Along the way, he makes friends with many of his inmates and enemies with others (particularly those who butt rape him frequently.)

Red and Andy end up becoming good friends, having some deep discussions about life inside and outside of prison. Andy is revealed to be innocent (via the confession of some crazy dude), but the warden refuses to grant Andy his chance at being released. After a series of crazy events (which are sort of irrelevant in this case), Andy is one day absent at roll call and is found to have escaped from prison (using the rock hammer to create a long ass tunnel in his cell.) Fast forward: Andy goes to paradise, the warden of Shawshank blows his head off (due to Andy exposing financial scams in Shawshank), Red is released on parole, and Andy and Red meet again on a beautiful beach in paradise.

(I promise the film is better than my summary.)

The case for Shawshank really doesn't lie in its plot. There are some excellent plot twists and "holy shit" parts, but the strength of Shawshank lies in its themes. In particular, the theme of hope. This theme led to quite possibly the best "bromance" in the history of filmmaking.

The term "bromance" is used a lot these days, mostly mockingly, but it actually has meaning. Participating in a bromance is a completely heterosexual experience. Why can't two dudes have love for each other with out broke-backing shit up? The scene where Red and Andy reunite on the beach is one of the most emotional scenes captured on screen in the history of film. I cried the first time I saw it. I cried like my dog was ran over by the ice cream truck.

To be without hope is a scary experience. Andy and Red were close to hopelessness, but they relied on each other to maintain strength and perseverance through tough times.

Which leads me to my favorite part of this movie: How fudging awesome is Morgan Freeman? He has the whole "I'm an old black man that is full of wisdom and knowledge" shit down PERFECTLY. Not to mention the dude doesn't age. He looks exactly the same in The Dark Knight as he does in Shawshank. He's one of the most underrated actors of our generation, and if I was a single black woman I would have a crush on Morgan Freeman over Denzel Washington (yeah I said it girrrrl.) And I am not particularly fond of Tim Robbins in other films, but he knocked it out of the ballpark in this one. He has a quiet confidence about him as Andy and he never makes you dislike him even though he is convicted of murdering his wife.

So is Shawshank deserving of its numero uno on the IMDB list? Maybe, maybe not. It's certainly one of the best films of all time. I highly recommend this film, but maybe watch it alone. (watching it with a good friend may lead to some awkward bromance like conversations afterward, and I don't want anyone contacting me claiming to have a homosexual experience from the emotions brought about by Andy and Red's bromantic displays of awesomeness.)

Next time on The Hunt for the Best Movie of All Time: Fight Club.

Feel free to post your opinions in the comments as well as recommendations for other movies to include in the hunt.

Bear Gryll's Life is Better Than Yours

In the above video, Bear Grylls swims from one island in the Pacific Ocean to another.  Along the way, he spots some humpback whales about twenty yards off.  When was the last time you swam with whales in the Pacific Ocean?  Probably never.  Have you ever climbed down a waterfall? That would be more plausible, but you probably did not celebrate by roasting a dead rat on a stick and eating its brain as an appetizer.  Most of us are just lucky to watch him explore our great Planet Earth and will never experience all the great things the lands and seas have to offer.
More reasons Bear Grylls is better than you are because because he...

Climbs mountains
Jumps 50 ft into water
Skydives
Explores caves
Drinks his own urine (YOO-rine)
Has a british accent
Creates fire anywhere
Creates his own bandages from trees
Eats live fish, lizards, snakes, spiders, etc.
Performs enemata (please watch below)

What's on the Tele?

Gorilla: The growth of technology and the ubiquity of the ever-expanding, all-powerful internet has bountiful downsides that are steadily deteriorating today's already moldy society. However, one of the best features of the internet is the ability to find new or classic forms of art and media. My personal favorite experiences have come from finding gems of television series from good ol' Britain.
The two series that I have come across via excursions through IMDb and SurfTheChannel are "Spaced" (1999) and "Extras" (2005). In coming across these two hilarious successes in television comedy, I took notice of the brevity of each series. "Spaced" yielded two seasons of seven episodes each, while "Extras" contained two seasons of six episodes a piece with a Christmas special finale. The two programs seemed to load each episode with astounding writing and fresh and fun humour. Both of the series were able to entertain and make you laugh in the allotted half-hour time slot and wrap up the series with finales that add emotional touch. The series shows seemed as if they came in for a couple years, did what they wanted to do, and ended on their own rights. This idea differs greatly from the Hollywoodification of american television that forces writers to scrounge together material for twenty to thirty episodes a season. Most of those episodes in the middle of the season are just fillers that seem to lack purpose. I am not sure if all British prgrams operate with the succintness of these two comedies, but perhaps all television programs should. Do we really need ten years of the same characters spiralling to unfathomable points in thier lives? With the expert writing/acting/directing, I have as much adoration for the characters in these shows as the ones I've been following for several years now.

Now to promote the shows:

"Spaced" was written by, and stars, the tag-team of Jessica Hynes and Simon Pegg with Edgar Wright directing. The core from "Spaced" were the ones responsible for the major motion picutres, "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz". Each episode is filled with quick, fast-paced humor and stapled together with Wright's insane ability to create amazing shots and transitions which greatly add to the show. What makes "Spaced" so much fun to watch are all the little homages to past television and cinema. Also, it is filled with fresh, smart thinking as depited here in one of my favorit clips from the show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1yuhBtdHL0

"Extras" comes from the same duo that created the critically acclaimed series, "The Office", Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Each episode includes a special guest star that shows their true colors when off the screen. "Extras" follows the acting pursuits of Andy Millman (Gervais) as an extra in the backgrounds of film and television. The humor is creative and fun and pushes some boundaries. Here is a great clip from the show:


I highly reccommend both of these shows and both are easy to be watched completely in a week.

Breaking News: Mark McGwire Reveals that there IS indeed a giant elephant in the corner of the room

Lion

Former MLB ginger slugger Mark McGwire issued a public statement on Monday revealing that he used anabolic steroids during much of his career, including his "historic" 1998 season in which he battled with fellow testicle shrunken giant Sammy Sosa for the home run record.

McGwire also uncovered several other shocking revelations:
- "MLB stands for major league baseball"
- "Sometimes the sun is out. At other times, the sun is not out."

- "Jay Leno is not funny"

...Gorilla here, sorry to interrupt Lion, but I would like to add one of my favorite bits about this story. Nobody was surprised at this admittance because of the following:

followed by,

Don't get me wrong, the general public is stupid (eg. Jersey Shore, Twilight, Lady Gaga) but not ignorant to the fact that something was not natural in the nineties and early ones. Being merely an eight year old child fascinated with the majesty of the beautiful game of baseball, I did not know better at the time. But surely the older generations should have taken action to put a stop to this travesty. What helps get me by now is the grace of one Jose Alberto Pujols. A man who is as great a baseball player as he is a human being. The game can now move forward with role models like himself and other tremendous stars such as: Grady Sizemore, Ryan Braun, Tim Lincecum, Ian Kinsler, and many more rising players.

Here are some more images I found, I don't know if they mean anything...

I'm With COCO

It would have to take a BIG news story to rip this troubled blog out of a seven moth hiatus. As a reader first enters the Three Conchords blog, at the very top he or she will notice the word "Conan" listed right under our organization's name. Conan O'Brien has been the consummate professional in the entertainment business for the past seventeen years.
Conan was amazing on the Late Show for years and was ready to realize his dream as host of The Tonight Show this past summer. The only thing that dampened this joyous celebration was the annoying shadow of Jay Leno lurking around way past its time. The Jay Leno show was implemented into the ten o'clock timeslot because of NBC's inability to produce an entertaining primetime drama. Some bufoons recently decided to switch things up and throw the Jay Leno Show back at the 11:35 time slot, displacing a storied television franchise. This was a horrible slap to the face of Mr. O'Brien, and with skin that fair, the mark will show up bright red. With all of the ugly and ruthless actions made by NBC the classy O'Brien released this statement on Tuesday:


People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky.
That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,
Conan

Conan has reacted to the situation with some impressive monologues, continually grilling the executives at NBC. I encourage you to watch them all from the past week.

And now I ask you to do your part in supporting one of the greatest entertainers of all time. Join the "I'm With COCO" movement. Tweet, facebook, and blog your feelings as much as you can. You can also visit the site, http://www.imwithcoco.com/ .

And in a final note, there is a new show on Discovery called "Swamp Loggers"