Gorilla: Conchords of the world, recently our transcendent blog received an update when we added the new feature located towards the top right of the page. This button displays the number of visitors on the site at that moment. Clicking on the button results in opening a portal to the global world of Three Conchords Inc. Here you can see when people have been reading the spice of life and where our fellow Conchords are from.
Our first visitor from outside the U S of A, is a hero who resides in the city of Newport, United Kingdom. On behalf of Three Conchords, Gorilla salutes you. You are no wanker, there is no bullocks about that.
Here are some things you may not have known about Newport, United Kingdom:
A City in Wales on the bank of the River Usk
Sister city of Annapolis, Maryland
"Newport" comes from the fact that it was a new port for ships
Population of 2,398,458,123
All ships in the port are made of gold
Frodo complemented it as "one of the most relaxing stops on the way to Mordor"
Thank you visitors from Newport, UK. We hope to see more people from across the globe grace us with their presents and presence.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Great Day
Gorilla: When I arose from my slumber this morning, I was not aware of what would be in store on this chilled autumn Sunday. After returning from a morning with the Lord, I logged on to the world wide web and was greeted with the bubbly news that New York Yankees young prodigal son, Joba Chamberlain, was arrested for a DUI. Thankfully, the pin-striped punk did not harm anyone else in his drunken stupor. Don't drink and drive, fellow Conchords.
As the day trickled onward, another surprise arose when I saw that our friend, Wolf/First Conchord, has finally posted once more. This is good news for Wolf, for Lion and I were talking behind his back about replacing him.
The day of fun concluded as the Boston Red Sox were rendered ineffective offensively and were finally eliminated from the 2008 playoffs. I hate the Red Sox. The end proved to be quite poetic as the Baby Rays looked to one of their own that made the rest of the team look like seasoned veterans. David Price, the first pick of the 2007 draft shut down Boston and got the last four outs of the 2008 ALCS. It was refreshing to see a team built mainly from their own system (Rays 6/9 starters) take down a money-dependent club that was only able to produce three starters in their lineup.
Another stat that you may end up seeing on the Sport Center:
Boston Red Sox Payroll: $133,220,112 Rank-4
Tampa Bay Rays Payroll: $43,422,997 Rank-29 of 30 (numbers from espn.com)
And for the record I want the Phillies to win the World Series.
As the day trickled onward, another surprise arose when I saw that our friend, Wolf/First Conchord, has finally posted once more. This is good news for Wolf, for Lion and I were talking behind his back about replacing him.
The day of fun concluded as the Boston Red Sox were rendered ineffective offensively and were finally eliminated from the 2008 playoffs. I hate the Red Sox. The end proved to be quite poetic as the Baby Rays looked to one of their own that made the rest of the team look like seasoned veterans. David Price, the first pick of the 2007 draft shut down Boston and got the last four outs of the 2008 ALCS. It was refreshing to see a team built mainly from their own system (Rays 6/9 starters) take down a money-dependent club that was only able to produce three starters in their lineup.
Another stat that you may end up seeing on the Sport Center:
Boston Red Sox Payroll: $133,220,112 Rank-4
Tampa Bay Rays Payroll: $43,422,997 Rank-29 of 30 (numbers from espn.com)
And for the record I want the Phillies to win the World Series.
"Pro" Football
First Conchord - Wolf
Maybe my sample size is too small and this generalization is unjustified, but I was embarrassed by the NFL this weekend. I'm basing this claim off of the Browns-Redskins and Raiders-Jets games. These were possibly the most unbearable football games I have ever seen, and this is only one week removed from Ohio State-Purdue.
Browns-Redskins
Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards combined to create the most impotent passing attack in the game. Edwards backed up the self-generated hype from his "Braylon unmasked" segment on sportscenter last week by dropping more passes than he caught. It must feel good for Braylon to back up his talk with unprecedented results and silence anyone who would say he can't catch a fucking football to save his life. Anderson likewise silenced critics with a clutch 14/37 passing performance. 38% completion percentage is an incredibly generous way to summarize his performance as it doesn't take into account his unique ability to miss wide open receivers by 10 yards or more, or how he delivered an Eli Manningesque drive at the end of the game; giving up at the 40 yard line and putting up 4 incomplete passes in a row like any superbowL MVP would. The game entered the third quarter scoreless and could not have realistically been worse in any way.
Jets-Raiders
Tuned in to this game at the end of the fourth quarter to see compelling footage of two teams putting everything on the line in a close game to determine which team wanted it less. Brett Favre showed everyone what a seasoned veteran he is by floating a lame duck well over the head of his receiver and into the outstretched arms of an oakland dback towards the end of the first overtime. In a startling display of grit by a young player, however, the dback managed to drop the pass and showcase the young talent of the NFL. At some point a field goal was kicked to end the torture and the Jets came out on top of the suck-off.
I read an interesting column by a Pittsburgh writer about how the NHL needs to ban fighting (by interesting I mean retarted). I have yet to see a boring NHL game and there is a specific reason for this. In addition to intimidating the other team and energizing your own team, a good fight in a hockey game can take an uneventful game and completely change its pace.
EX:
The NFL should seriously consider adding this element to its game for weeks like this. But until it does, I would like to thank the NFL for reminding me of all the reasons I like hockey more.
LETS GO PENS
Maybe my sample size is too small and this generalization is unjustified, but I was embarrassed by the NFL this weekend. I'm basing this claim off of the Browns-Redskins and Raiders-Jets games. These were possibly the most unbearable football games I have ever seen, and this is only one week removed from Ohio State-Purdue.
Browns-Redskins
Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards combined to create the most impotent passing attack in the game. Edwards backed up the self-generated hype from his "Braylon unmasked" segment on sportscenter last week by dropping more passes than he caught. It must feel good for Braylon to back up his talk with unprecedented results and silence anyone who would say he can't catch a fucking football to save his life. Anderson likewise silenced critics with a clutch 14/37 passing performance. 38% completion percentage is an incredibly generous way to summarize his performance as it doesn't take into account his unique ability to miss wide open receivers by 10 yards or more, or how he delivered an Eli Manningesque drive at the end of the game; giving up at the 40 yard line and putting up 4 incomplete passes in a row like any superbowL MVP would. The game entered the third quarter scoreless and could not have realistically been worse in any way.
Jets-Raiders
Tuned in to this game at the end of the fourth quarter to see compelling footage of two teams putting everything on the line in a close game to determine which team wanted it less. Brett Favre showed everyone what a seasoned veteran he is by floating a lame duck well over the head of his receiver and into the outstretched arms of an oakland dback towards the end of the first overtime. In a startling display of grit by a young player, however, the dback managed to drop the pass and showcase the young talent of the NFL. At some point a field goal was kicked to end the torture and the Jets came out on top of the suck-off.
I read an interesting column by a Pittsburgh writer about how the NHL needs to ban fighting (by interesting I mean retarted). I have yet to see a boring NHL game and there is a specific reason for this. In addition to intimidating the other team and energizing your own team, a good fight in a hockey game can take an uneventful game and completely change its pace.
EX:
The NFL should seriously consider adding this element to its game for weeks like this. But until it does, I would like to thank the NFL for reminding me of all the reasons I like hockey more.
LETS GO PENS
Sunday, October 12, 2008
What Lion is Listening To
Third Conchord - Lion
With the recent life-changing event known as college, this king of the jungle has been roaring over his inability to download hoards of illegal tunes. It has truly been humbling. I definetly take for granted having open internet access back home. Sure, maybe downloading music illegally is wrong. I do kind of feel bad doing it, especially because the music I'm downloading seems to be from bands and groups without a penny to their name. But hey, most of these bands aren't in it for the money anyway. That's probably why their music is good in the first place.
Without being able to go torrent-crazy in this intellectual setting, I have gained a better appreciation for several bands I had previously downloaded music by. It almost makes me somewhat happy that I have finally gained the ability to give certain albums second, third, and forth chances to impress me. And, shit, have I been impressed by...
The Walkmen
I was bored to DEATH by the Walkmen at first. I loved "The Rat" immediately, but I thought they were just straight up dry otherwise. But the release of their new album, "You & Me," completely changed my mind and I gave them a second chance. "On the Water" is now one of my favorite songs. And they are great live. Check these out...
Ra Ra Riot
I had thought Ra Ra Riot was just another corny indie pop band before I downloaded "The Rhumb Line," their first LP. I shouldn't judge a group by their name. They are poppy, but not in a semi-gay Los Campesinos way. They have catchy hooks and I like the lead singer's voice. Check out "Dying is Fine."
Caribou
This guy isn't for everyone. Dan Snaith, aka Caribou, appeals to the kinds of people who like atmospheric, Brian Eno-like music. This, without a doubt, is THE best music to go to sleep to. Not because it's boring (although many will think so), but because you almost get caught in a trance just listening to him. Very hypnotic. Check out "She's the One."
If these aren't for you, go listen to the Jonas Brothers and suck a dick.
With the recent life-changing event known as college, this king of the jungle has been roaring over his inability to download hoards of illegal tunes. It has truly been humbling. I definetly take for granted having open internet access back home. Sure, maybe downloading music illegally is wrong. I do kind of feel bad doing it, especially because the music I'm downloading seems to be from bands and groups without a penny to their name. But hey, most of these bands aren't in it for the money anyway. That's probably why their music is good in the first place.
Without being able to go torrent-crazy in this intellectual setting, I have gained a better appreciation for several bands I had previously downloaded music by. It almost makes me somewhat happy that I have finally gained the ability to give certain albums second, third, and forth chances to impress me. And, shit, have I been impressed by...
The Walkmen
I was bored to DEATH by the Walkmen at first. I loved "The Rat" immediately, but I thought they were just straight up dry otherwise. But the release of their new album, "You & Me," completely changed my mind and I gave them a second chance. "On the Water" is now one of my favorite songs. And they are great live. Check these out...
Ra Ra Riot
I had thought Ra Ra Riot was just another corny indie pop band before I downloaded "The Rhumb Line," their first LP. I shouldn't judge a group by their name. They are poppy, but not in a semi-gay Los Campesinos way. They have catchy hooks and I like the lead singer's voice. Check out "Dying is Fine."
Caribou
This guy isn't for everyone. Dan Snaith, aka Caribou, appeals to the kinds of people who like atmospheric, Brian Eno-like music. This, without a doubt, is THE best music to go to sleep to. Not because it's boring (although many will think so), but because you almost get caught in a trance just listening to him. Very hypnotic. Check out "She's the One."
If these aren't for you, go listen to the Jonas Brothers and suck a dick.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Female Moustaches Revisited
Gorilla: Ladies and gentlemen, mere weeks after my profound post on female staches, this commercial popped up on the airwaves.
After seeing that the masses have taken my thoughts to heart, a single tear trickled down my face until it kissed my almost moustache.
Keep up the good work ladies.
After seeing that the masses have taken my thoughts to heart, a single tear trickled down my face until it kissed my almost moustache.
Keep up the good work ladies.
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