Gorilla: You are getting ready to go off to college. Let's see if you are ready:
-Cheez-Its/other snacks
-Kool-Aid Jammers/other beverages
-Overrated Macbook Pro
-13" television
-Shower shoes (you know why)
-Nail clippers
-Box of adult reading
Looks good. You have everything you need to enjoy your time in your dorm. Right?
Of course you are wrong. You are forgetting the single greatest item a college student can have the pleasure of owning.
That's right, you forgot the 9 Pack Charmin Ultra Soft 2-Ply Toilet Paper.
First off, just look at how happy that brown bear is on the package. If everyone in the world were a bear with a roll of this TP, all the trouble would wipe away. College campuses are abundant with that infamous, scratchy and rough toilet paper that is the width of a dollar bill. The paper is so thin and unreliable, one moment I'm cleaning the cavern then -POP- I'm checking the health of my prostate. Other than the undurability of the paper, it is also very rough. I'm not a magician. Only on the rarest of occasions will I need less than two trips to the south for hurricane clean-up. After a few wipes, your rump feels like it spent the afternoon staring up at the sun on a Florida beach. It burns and chafes.
Please do yourself a favor and go out and purchase your own 9 Pack Charmin Ultra Solf 2-Ply Toilet Paper and you can experience the greatest joy in the world: a soft carressing wipe.
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lol, tagged as "chafed"
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