Gorilla: Hello everyone. A few weeks ago my fellow conchord, Wolf, discussed his feelings toward the play of some football teams early on in the sesason. I would also like to express myself on the issue of the NFL. First off, the league has had so many injuries (including paralysis, death, and your brain turnign to goo after you retire) that now any big hit is rewarded with a hefty fine. Well football is a man's game. You got to be TOUGH. You gotta fight through minicamps without keeling over from heat exhaustion. Then comes the pre-seson where the stars of the NFL don't even play because of the risk of injury. You've made it to the regular season. Perhaps the season goes swimmingly. OR....First game of the season you blow out your knee and can't play the rest of the season and you won't be able to try to repeat as MVP (Tom Brady). Perhaps your knees hold up, but as you go across the middle for a 12 yard reception you get your clock cleaned by a free safety trying to end someone. You get up and you don't know where you are. You think you're back at Millridge Elementary and its time for recess on the spider web. But your coach keeps playing you because you are a MAN and you're TOUGH. Ugh.. enough on the life restricting injuries.
My second complaint is that the NFL is sooooooo over-analyzed. You play ONE GAME A WEEK, then you have "experts" like John Clayton and Sean Salisbury discussing the most insignificant stories that mean absolutley nothing. Donovan McNabb didn't know a game can end in a tie (and theres an idiocracy right there), TO would like to make some cathces, he's so selfish and he destroys clubs. Tony Romo went to the movies. Tom Brady impregnated three indonesian circus midgets. WHO CARES!? The NFL is: play one day, talk about off-field nonsense the next six days.
Off-field garbage leads me to my final point. The NFL has to be at leat 64% criminals and law breakers. The best linebacker in the league murdered someone, the former top running back is a drug dealer, and all of the Bengals starters have spent time in jail at some point in the last three years. Adam Pacman Jones recently was given his third chance to play football and not cause off-field raucuses after failing the first two times. For all you die hard NFL fans from back in the day with the original LT and the Juice, I found a site with an NFL All Criminal Team: click
Well thats my rant on America's favorite sport. Enjoy the rest of the season.
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
"Pro" Football
First Conchord - Wolf
Maybe my sample size is too small and this generalization is unjustified, but I was embarrassed by the NFL this weekend. I'm basing this claim off of the Browns-Redskins and Raiders-Jets games. These were possibly the most unbearable football games I have ever seen, and this is only one week removed from Ohio State-Purdue.
Browns-Redskins
Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards combined to create the most impotent passing attack in the game. Edwards backed up the self-generated hype from his "Braylon unmasked" segment on sportscenter last week by dropping more passes than he caught. It must feel good for Braylon to back up his talk with unprecedented results and silence anyone who would say he can't catch a fucking football to save his life. Anderson likewise silenced critics with a clutch 14/37 passing performance. 38% completion percentage is an incredibly generous way to summarize his performance as it doesn't take into account his unique ability to miss wide open receivers by 10 yards or more, or how he delivered an Eli Manningesque drive at the end of the game; giving up at the 40 yard line and putting up 4 incomplete passes in a row like any superbowL MVP would. The game entered the third quarter scoreless and could not have realistically been worse in any way.
Jets-Raiders
Tuned in to this game at the end of the fourth quarter to see compelling footage of two teams putting everything on the line in a close game to determine which team wanted it less. Brett Favre showed everyone what a seasoned veteran he is by floating a lame duck well over the head of his receiver and into the outstretched arms of an oakland dback towards the end of the first overtime. In a startling display of grit by a young player, however, the dback managed to drop the pass and showcase the young talent of the NFL. At some point a field goal was kicked to end the torture and the Jets came out on top of the suck-off.
I read an interesting column by a Pittsburgh writer about how the NHL needs to ban fighting (by interesting I mean retarted). I have yet to see a boring NHL game and there is a specific reason for this. In addition to intimidating the other team and energizing your own team, a good fight in a hockey game can take an uneventful game and completely change its pace.
EX:
The NFL should seriously consider adding this element to its game for weeks like this. But until it does, I would like to thank the NFL for reminding me of all the reasons I like hockey more.
LETS GO PENS
Maybe my sample size is too small and this generalization is unjustified, but I was embarrassed by the NFL this weekend. I'm basing this claim off of the Browns-Redskins and Raiders-Jets games. These were possibly the most unbearable football games I have ever seen, and this is only one week removed from Ohio State-Purdue.
Browns-Redskins
Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards combined to create the most impotent passing attack in the game. Edwards backed up the self-generated hype from his "Braylon unmasked" segment on sportscenter last week by dropping more passes than he caught. It must feel good for Braylon to back up his talk with unprecedented results and silence anyone who would say he can't catch a fucking football to save his life. Anderson likewise silenced critics with a clutch 14/37 passing performance. 38% completion percentage is an incredibly generous way to summarize his performance as it doesn't take into account his unique ability to miss wide open receivers by 10 yards or more, or how he delivered an Eli Manningesque drive at the end of the game; giving up at the 40 yard line and putting up 4 incomplete passes in a row like any superbowL MVP would. The game entered the third quarter scoreless and could not have realistically been worse in any way.
Jets-Raiders
Tuned in to this game at the end of the fourth quarter to see compelling footage of two teams putting everything on the line in a close game to determine which team wanted it less. Brett Favre showed everyone what a seasoned veteran he is by floating a lame duck well over the head of his receiver and into the outstretched arms of an oakland dback towards the end of the first overtime. In a startling display of grit by a young player, however, the dback managed to drop the pass and showcase the young talent of the NFL. At some point a field goal was kicked to end the torture and the Jets came out on top of the suck-off.
I read an interesting column by a Pittsburgh writer about how the NHL needs to ban fighting (by interesting I mean retarted). I have yet to see a boring NHL game and there is a specific reason for this. In addition to intimidating the other team and energizing your own team, a good fight in a hockey game can take an uneventful game and completely change its pace.
EX:
The NFL should seriously consider adding this element to its game for weeks like this. But until it does, I would like to thank the NFL for reminding me of all the reasons I like hockey more.
LETS GO PENS
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